27. Awake. Anarcho-Nihilist. Scot Beast. Feral.

Last night was the full moon. It was big and round and made me want to drive right through that traffic and get to it, take a bite out of the moon and lay in its light, or just hold it in my arms and feel its round, big edges, like those perfectly picturesque scenes out of a children’s book: with all the right amount of color and mesmerizing wonder, that made one beLIEve anything written in those pages and fall into the adventures brought by its characters.

Instead, I turned up my music, rolled down the windows, felt the air on my skin and howled at the moon, a silent scream of some sort, while sitting perfectly in traffic.

My life in captivity, has conditioned me to want to survive; a mediated existence in which a slavery-waged job- is part of the BeLIEf that having a job that helps me live in a house, I am working on all fours to keep, and never get to live in, because I am at my job to help me keep the house I never get to live in- is what is essential for me in order to survive the culture of maximum harm; the conditions under which, my survival is impossible, no matter what I do, and I am led to believe it’s up to me to achieve more, to be more and to want more. The Leviathan, the prison master, has held me by the throat, suffocating, yet dangling the hopes of a better future, which will never come.

As a prisoner of civilization, I exist, work, eat in my cage, with all the privileges good prisoners get; all sorts of so called freedoms and rights, all just to subjugate and break. While getting lost more and more in my domesticated “LIfE”, I try to obey the Master just enough to get some air, enough to escape the domesticated hell surrounding me, and try to connect to all there is: a deep connection, foregoing all the filtered “do”s and “don’t”s.

I hear the Rivers and the ocean, capturing each sound wave with every ebb and flow, missing the call of the wild, the seagull, and the musk. Rewilding, and all that the civilization has made into taboo, trying to control and tame and subjugate, manipulate, is the flame and guides me to joyous rebellion; the jouissance that is only seen through the brief sparkle in one’s eyes at a chance to rupture and puncture the Leviathan. That brief non-moment, in linear time, non-linear and unmeasurable, with neither history nor any future. A rupture on the way to insurrection, catching the Leviathan off-guard to strike a blow into the void and rejoicing in that moment of jouissance, of secret pleasure, however futile.

“Wildness and authenticity is best found where it remains unhindered.”

Julian Langer-Feral Consciousness Destruction of the Modern Myth and Return to the Woods

Your world is occupied by an invader, who is seeking to take from you your potential to flourish at life. The question you have to ask yourself is this-“What am I going to do”?

Julian Langer-Feral Consciousness Destruction of the Modern Myth and Return to the Woods

In Feral Consciousness, and Feral Iconoclasm, Langer in an artful non-ideological way, invites us to dance within the absurd, however temporary and short, and to embrace la jouissance, the anarchy, wildness, O-nihilism, calling it “the basic existential oncological condition of freedom, the inescapable, basic condition of life that can not be taken away, “even under the most extreme situation”.

Now, a new chapter has been written by Langer. The Feral musing continues, and not as a manual or a how-to-achieve-or-be, but an attempt to share the experience of rewilding of the tamed, domesticated, mediated and subjugated consciousness. Tuning out the conditioning imposed and welcoming the wild, feral, raw, non-mediated, unconditioned connection to all there is.

Langer guides us through a more personal, passionate look, into candid encounters of iconoclasm, and journey into the chaotic dance, the jouissance, the blessed flame that guides us into the void. The inescapable anarchy, that which gets us away from the stronghold of the Leviathan, and its gripping suffocation and control, however forbidden, weird, crazy and wild.

So as you absurdly walk, run, fly, dance, levitate, through the Feral Life: Meditations on Rewilding and Anarchy by Julian Langer, embrace the chaos, anarchy, O-nihilism, wildness, la jouissance, and artfully, senselessly, get carried away in the joyful rebellion. The forest is calling. Life is now. It is Feral and it is yours.

Hear me roar!